Excuse me, Sir, your dog is ringing

Good Morning, Silicon Valley reports that

South Koreans hoping to communicate with man’s best friend could be getting help soon from their cell phones. KTF Corp., a South Korean mobile phone operator, said Thursday it will begin offering a service that will enable dog owners to know whether their pets are feeling happy or sad.
The users must first connect to Internet with their cell phones, and then register information of their dogs such as the breed and age. The service will then record the dog’s bark.
The owner will receive text messages telling them how their pet is feeling, such as “I am happy” or “I am frustrated.”

Shome mishtake here?

Er, not being entirely convinced by this story in The Register, I typed “Brothels in Cambridge” into Google Maps, and it came up with five establishments. The first was BBC Radio Cambridgeshire. The second was the Medical Research Council. Both are exceedingly respectable outfits — and the other three listed seemed, well, improbable! Shome mishtake here, as Private Eye says, mimicking Bill Deedes (aka William Boot).

On the other hand, a search for “Churches in Cambridge” provides an excellent and accurate list. So what is it about brothels that makes Google go wild?

En passant, it seems improbable to me that a town as sedate as Cambridge would have brothels. Or perhaps I am just naive.

Later: Andrew Brown, from whom nothing is hidden emails with an ingenious theory.

If you click on the links on the map, you will come, often enough, to news stories in which brothels are mentioned that have little or nothing to do with the place on the map. But if they came from a newspaper which was spidered at a time when it also had a brothel story on the same page, this will fool Google. I think that because it’s not a recognised business category that we get this problem. That would certainly explain why the police stations are there in the Register story.

That seems pretty plausible to me. Come back, Google, all is forgiven.

Longhorn: a preview

Michael Kaplan has discovered an interesting innovation in a beta version of Microsoft’s new operating system. It seems that the Blue Screen of Death so beloved of Windows users is no more. The new colour may be a clever strategic move to persuade Russian users to pay for their copy of Longhorn — rather than ripping them off as they do with current versions.

Quote of the day

The key to success is sincerity. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Groucho Marx, quoted in this week’s Economist in the course of a thoughtful article on Tony Blair.

A 7-point plan to save the newspaper industry

Michael Kinsley, writing about decline and fall.

Some evil force is causing people to stop reading newspapers! Newspaper circulation figures, which had been drifting decorously downward for years, have started to plummet. At the current rate of decline, the last newspaper subscriber will hang up on a renewal phone call that interrupts dinner on Oct. 17, 2016. And then it will be over.

Among his recommendations to save the industry is that the government should establish

a program of newspaper circulation supports. These would be similar to the agricultural price supports that have preserved a treasured American lifestyle (working from dawn to dusk seven days a week, except for a few brief hours a day down at the diner complaining about big government and welfare chiselers). By paying newspaper publishers not to publish newspapers, the government can reduce the dangerous excess supply and preserve the beloved journalistic lifestyle (drinking at lunch, ruining the reputations of innocent Republican politicians and filling out expense reports).

He also proposes the establishment of a Strategic Newspaper Reserve.

As with the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, the government would buy vast quantities of newspapers on the open market and store them somewhere for a rainy day (when they can be delivered sopping wet, as the newspaper industry prefers whenever possible). One possible location for the reserve might be my mother’s apartment, where there are already neat piles of newspapers dating back to Watergate that she is going to get to soon. (If you go to inspect the reserve, please don’t tell her how the 2000 election came out. She wants to be surprised.)

Lovely stuff. Reminds me of the young Michael Frayn.

This you gotta see

I’ve always thought that the people who work in BBC Online are the most creative folks outside of Google. Now, right on cue, comes further proof — BBC Backstage

backstage.bbc.co.uk is the BBC’s new developer network, providing content feeds for anyone to build with. Alternatively, share your ideas on new ways to use BBC content. This is your BBC. We want to help you play.

It’s amazing, simply amazing, to think of a leading content owner and creator being willing to do this. Thanks to Ben for alerting me.

Microsoft goes for Sony’s jugular

Nice USA Today report on Redmond’s latest attempt at a pre-emptive strike. Excerpt:

To muscle Xbox into contention, Microsoft has absorbed about $2 billion in losses the past four years. Now the software giant is making a bold move to jump ahead of Sony by initiating the next cycle of gaming consoles.
On Thursday night, actor Elijah Wood of Lord of the Rings fame will host a celebrity-packed MTV special at which Wood is expected to unveil the all-new Xbox. Widely expected to be called the Xbox 360, it should hit store shelves in time for Christmas.
But much more than dominance of the game-console business is at stake. Whoever sells the most consoles in this cycle could also lock up prime access to the burgeoning digital entertainment market.
Microsoft has been on a three-year mission to ingrain Windows Media Center PCs as the nerve center for digital entertainment. And it is maneuvering the new Xbox to be a linchpin in helping consumers manage music and movie files stored on a PC in the den.
Meanwhile, Sony, in partnership with IBM and Toshiba, is developing something called the Cell processor — expected to be an all-purpose “brain” for video games and consumer electronic devices, much as Intel’s Pentium processor is for PCs.

Er, the Naughton household has had a ‘Media Center’ for some years. It’s called a Macintosh!