Quote of the day

Scott McNealy, ex-CEO of Sun, on the Top 10 best things about not being CEO.

No. 10: “I don’t have to apologize for the stuff I say to Wall Street, Jonathan [Schwartz, the new CEO] does.”

No. 9: “I’m no longer on the most overpaid CEO list.”

No. 8: “I just say, ‘See Jonathan on that.'”

No. 7: “I read Hockey News without guilt.”

No. 6: “I shave even less often.”

No. 5: “No more SOX (Sarbanes-Oxley) certifications to sign.”

No. 4: “I have someone to blame now.”

No. 3: “I can sell my last business suit.”

No. 2: “Jonathan doesn’t golf, so I guess I gotta do it.”

No. 1 “My new office is very close to the men’s room.”

Buying Windows boxes on the never-never

Amusing report of Microsoft’s new initiative aimed at poor people. It’s announced an approach to selling computer hardware and software to emerging markets.

Dubbed Microsoft FlexGo, the initiative lets people buy a PC at retail for about half its usual cost, then pay off the balance via hourly usage fees.  Designed to spread the penetration of PCs in emerging markets, FlexGo lower the barrier to PC ownership by allowing individuals to take home a machine with a minimal upfront investment and then pay off the balance  via pre-paid cards. Buy enough time and you’ll eventually own the machine outright; run your pre-paid time out and the machine will stop working until more time is purchased.

It’s an interesting approach to emerging markets because it accounts for unreliable incomes. If money is tight during a particular month,  the machine simply shuts down until more minutes are purchased. There’s no default. No one shows up at your door with a repossession order.

“One of the learnings that we’ve had is that it’s not just that families in emerging markets have modest budgets,” Mike Wickstrand, director of product management in the market expansion group at Microsoft told News.com. “It’s the irregularity and unpredictability of their income.”

Of course, as Good Morning Silicon Valley observes, “Microsoft’s motives here are not entirely altruistic. If it’s successful, FlexGo will undoubtedly curb software piracy a bit. And then there’s the money.  Some estimates put the number of people worldwide who earn enough to buy PCs under the initiative, but not enough to buy one on their own at more than 1 billion.”

This is Microsoft’s ‘answer’ to the One Laptop Per Child initiative, about which Bill Gates has made derisive remarks, motivated no doubt by Nicholas Negroponte’s decision that the laptop will run Linux. The idea that poor people will be happy to pay $600 for a Windows-powered PC, even if they don’t have to pay the entire sum upfront, is barmy.

Quote of the day

Hanks seems constantly perturbed, behaving as if Forrest Gump had been cast as Sherlock Holmes.

Philip French, magisterially reviewing the Da Vinci Code movie. It’s a lovely piece, marred only by the use of “millenniums” as the plural of millennium. (Tut, tut.) Also contains a useful summary of the plot:

After working out the clues with the speed of a stockbroker doing the Telegraph crossword on the 8.15 from Tunbridge Wells, they go on the run together. Over the next two days, they brief each other on matters of cryptology, the Holy Grail, the birth of Christianity, Opus Dei and the Priory of Sion, while escaping from the British and French cops and various would-be assassins with the ease and ingenuity of Harry Houdini. The cryptographers are constantly creeping into crypts, talking crap and copping out as clues lead to bizarre discoveries and encounters in churches in France, Scotland and England, including Westminster Abbey.

AdSense nonsense

Just noticed (Sunday 21 May, 10:30am) that Google has started placing occasional Flash ads on this page, rather than the text ads I signed up for when I embarked on the experiment. That’s naughty, because I detest Flash ads, and I wouldn’t knowingly inflict them on my readers.

The whole experiment has been instructive. First of all, it’s clear that the contents of this Blog poses real difficulty for the Google AdSense system, because it has always struggled to find ads that are even vaguely relevant to the content. Every time I wrote about the iniquities of the copyright thugs, for example, or my support for Open Source, the system would place ads for law firms offering to “help protect your intellectual property”!

And as for my ‘earnings’, that’s been interesting too. As of today, my total take (which I haven’t claimed yet) is $24.59!

Clearly, I’m not cut out for business.

Another success story in Iraq

From this morning’s New York Times

Three years later, the [Iraqi] police are a battered and dysfunctional force that has helped bring Iraq to the brink of civil war. Police units stand accused of operating death squads for powerful political groups or simple profit. Citizens, deeply distrustful of the force, are setting up their own neighborhood security squads. Killings of police officers are rampant, with at least 547 slain this year, roughly as many as Iraqi and American soldiers combined, records show.

The police, initially envisioned by the Bush administration as a cornerstone in a new democracy, have instead become part of Iraq’s grim constellation of shadowy commandos, ruthless political militias and other armed groups. Iraq’s new prime minister and senior American officials now say the country’s future — and the ability of America to withdraw its troops — rests in large measure on whether the police can be reformed and rogue groups reined in…

Whirlygigs

If you find someone whirling his/her new Apple laptop around and are wondering why, look no further.

Thanks to Bill Thompson, whose laptop is too ancient to be serviceable in this way. Thankfully, so is mine!

En passant… I overheard a conversation recently in which people were talking about the government’s policy on so-called “Faith-based” schools. One mother said ruefully that her little darling had declared that the only faith-based establishment he was willing to attend was a Jedi school.

Later… Quentin (who has one of the fancy new MacBookPro machines) writes:

I can confirm that this works as advertised, and should be a source of concern to any companies who insure laptops :-)

Reminds me of a sign I saw once in a US petrol station….

Duct tape is like the Force
It has a light side, and a dark side
And it binds the universe together.

Targeting insanity

Wonderful column by Simon Caulkin on why the New Labour regime’s obsession with ‘targets’ is nuts. Excerpt:

Because they are products of one world view applied to another – reductive mechanical measures applied to non-mechanical systems – targets have unpredictable and quickly ramifying consequences. To cut waiting lists hospitals do easier, rather than more urgent, operations; to meet exam pass rates schools exclude difficult students or encourage them into easier subjects; and to hit City earnings targets companies overstate profits or cut advertising or R&D budgets. Enron was the most target-driven company on earth, and to meet its targets it tore itself apart. The reply to ministers’ repeated refrain that ‘the private sector has targets’ is: look at Enron…

Trolling for business

This morning’s Observer column

Question: Six months ago you set up a technology company in your garage. You’ve got your first round of serious funding and can hire people. Which of the following do you employ first? A software engineer? An office manager? A book-keeper? A salesman?

Answer: none of the above. What you may need most of all is a patent lawyer. Otherwise in two years’ time – just when you’ve had the first really big order for 200,000 units of your new gizmo – you may find yourself opening an unpleasantly worded letter from a company based in Virginia or Delaware claiming that the aforementioned gizmo infringes one of their patents and threatening legal action unless you pay them whopping royalties. You have no idea whether this claim would be upheld by a court. But it will cost at least $100,000 in legal fees to find out, and even the hint of litigation will scare off the venture capitalists you desperately need to provide the second round of funding needed to fulfil that first big order.

Welcome to the world of high technology…