Patently crackers

Posted on by

US Patent # 5,443,036

“A method for inducing cats to exercise consists of directing a beam of invisible light produced by a hand-held laser apparatus onto the floor or wall or other opaque surface in the vicinity of the cat, then moving the laser so as to cause the bright pattern of light to move in an irregular way fascinating to cats, and to any other animal with a chase instinct.”

But this pales into insignificance compared with another one Quentin pointed me at. It’s U.S. Patent # 4,022,227: “Method of concealing partial baldness.” It describes “a method of styling hair to cover partial baldness using only the hair on a person’s head. The hair styling requires dividing a person’s hair into three sections and carefully folding one section over another. “ A diagram may be helpful here:

Intel: abusive monopolists — us?

Posted on by

From Good Morning, SiliconValley

It’s been almost a year since Japan’s Fair Trade Commission raided Intel’s offices in Tokyo looking for evidence that the company illegally pressured computer-makers to use its microchips. Now, it seems the katana has finally fallen. Over the weekend, the commission, which enforces the country’s Anti-Monopoly Law, ruled that Intel’s Japanese subsidiary stifled competition by offering rebates and discounts to five Japanese PC makers on condition that they agreed either not to buy or to limit their purchases of chips made by rivals AMD and Transmeta. “In this case, a company with a dominant market position squeezed out rivals by doing business with the five major PC makers on condition of not using competitors’ chips,” a JFTC official told reporters. Intel, for its part, says it did nothing of the sort, although that is difficult to believe when the combined Japan market share of AMD and Transmeta dropped from 24 percent to 11 percent during the period in question, while Intel’s rose from 76 percent to 89 percent. In any event, the company has 10 days to decide whether to appeal the order, and if it does, the case would go through the commission’s judicial review process.

Quote of the day

Posted on by

“The IRA stopped short of declaring whether its offer to shoot those involved in the murder [of Robert McCartney] meant they were to be killed, or punished with a kneecapping or ‘six pack’ where victims are shot in the ankles, knees and elbows.”

The Guardian, March 9, 2005.

What’s in Dave Barry’s bag?

Posted on by

Gizmodo asked Dave Barry what he carries in his bag. Here’s part of his reply:

The main thing I carry in my gadget bag is about 28 different power converters. I don’t know what they’re all for: Some of them date back to the early 1990s. But if I ever need to recharge a notebook computer that I no longer own, I am READY.

[…]

My phone is a Treo 600. It’s a bit too big, but I like that it syncs easily with my computers, and it has everything in it — contacts, calendars, email, and a really, really bad camera, which I call “The CrapCam.” I take pictures on it and post them to my blog, mainly because the quality of the photos enrages the blog readers and causes them to rant in an entertaining manner. I’m thinking of getting the Treo 650, which apparently has a better screen. But it also has a better camera, and I don’t know that I’m prepared to get rid of the CrapCam.

In accordance with federal law, I also have an iPod. It has 15G of memory, which is at least 14G more than I actually need, since I realize in my old age that I really only like something like nine songs. I have Bose noise-canceling headphones, which are wonderful on planes. The plane could make an emergency landing in the ocean, and those of us with Bose noise-canceling headphones wouldn’t notice until squid swam past our seats.

Quote of the day

Posted on by

“You can only offer democracy to people. You can’t force it down their throats”.

Former US Secretary of State Madaleine Albright, speaking on BBC radio 4 this morning.