Letter to Apple Support

From Jason Kottke.

Hello,

I purchased a new Powerbook three weeks ago. It was working fine until a few hours ago when you announced the new Intel-powered MacBook Pro at MacWorld and I started to cry. “Four to fives times faster,” I sobbed, “a built-in iSight, and a brighter, wider screen.”

My display, while not as bright or large as the new MacBook Pro display, illuminated my wet cheeks and red, swollen eyes as my tears rained down on the backlit keyboard. An acrid smell rose up from inside the smooth metal machine as my salty tears joined with the electronics, joyfully releasing the electrons from their assigned silicon pathways to freely arc into forbidden areas of the computer and elsewhere, including, somewhat painfully, my hands.

Is this covered under my warranty and if so, can you send me a new MacBook Pro as a replacement, please? Thank you for your time,

-jason

Hmmm… Quentin’s PowerBook had a dreadful accident some time back and his insurance company paid up a few days ago. But instead of rushing out and buying a new machine he decided to wait for Steve Jobs’s MacWorld keynote, and is now looking very smug at the prospect of a major coup in the Gadget Wars! Bah.