From Gerry McGovern’s weekly newsletter…

Customer: “I’d like to buy the Internet. Do you know how much it is?”
Customer: “How much does it cost to have the Internet installed?”
Customer: “Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?”
Customer: “I would like an Internet please.”
Customer: “I just got your Internet in the mail today…”
Customer: “I just downloaded the Internet. How do I use it?”
Customer: “I don’t have a computer at home. Is the Internet available in book form?”
Customer: “Will the Internet be open on Memorial Day tomorrow?”
Customer: “Are you sure that the Internet isn’t closed for the night?”

Says Gerry: “These are all supposedly real quotes from real people, taken from a website called Computer Stupidities. If you think the people who said these things are really stupid, then you shouldn’t be designing websites.”

I am reminded of Homer Simpson’s celebrated observation that “they’ve got the Internet on computers now”. Or of the Dublin lady I once overheard boasting that her husband’s new Volvo was fitted with “a cataclysmic convertor”.

Good Business Week piece by Heather Green highlighting the elementary schoolboy mistake which motivates Senator Fritz Hollings in his eagerness to prostrate the US Congress before the needs of Disney & Co. Quote:

“Here’s the latest take on the broadband mess: High-speed Net access hasn’t taken off in the U.S., according to Senator Fritz Hollings (D-S.C.), because entertainment companies are afraid to digitize their content due to the threat of digital piracy. Without compelling content online, consumers don’t want to sign up for broadband. To break this supposed logjam, Hollings on Mar. 21 introduced the Consumer Broadband & Digital Television Act of 2002.”

And the elementary schoolboy mistake? Why, assuming that the reason people want broadband is to ‘consume’ the entertainment industry’s digital pap.

Heather’s piece is really very good. She goes on:

“The problem is, this scenario doesn’t add up. For some reason, the myth continues that broadband finally makes it fun to watch movies on your PC. As anyone with a T1 line can tell you, that’s just not true. Only Hollywood seems to believe the ultimate use for a computer is to watch videos. Consumers aren’t waiting for more digital-entertainment choices to sign up for broadband. They’re waiting for better response from the phone and cable companies when they call to get high-speed service installed — and for lower pricing. According to Forrester Research, 72% of existing Net users are willing to pony up only $25 a month for broadband, half of the average cost now. Hollings’ bill isn’t about helping consumers. It’s about protecting Hollywood. And using the broadband mess to address the digital-copyright issue is just a ploy. Hollywood has already shown it isn’t interested simply in protecting digital versions of copyrighted works — it also wants to control how those works are used. ”

And now Louise Kehoe too!

Louise Kehoe: “When I first came across weblogs a year ago I was derisive in this column. I saw them as derivative, mostly comprising links to articles written by other people with brief comments. I thought of them as the digital equivalent of scrapbooks containing pictures and articles cut out of magazines and newspapers. My new-found enthusiasm is based in part on finding a few high-quality examples with original thoughts. I am also drawn in by the format and interactive nature of the weblog.” [Scripting News]

NY Times gets the Weblog message!

Press release: “We are pleased to offer Weblog creators the ability to post headlines from NYTimes.com with UserLand’s software,” said Martin Nisenholtz, CEO of New York Times Digital. “Weblogs are an increasingly popular form of self-publishing within a highly influential community, and are therefore an important distribution channel for our high-quality content.”

Sensation! Traces of intelligent life found in British Telecom!

According to ZD Net, BT has finally got the WiFi message and is proposing to roll out 802.11b hotspots in cafes, airports and other places throughout the UK. Perhaps they read the Observer?

Seriously, though, it looks as though BT is gambling that the government will ease the absurd restriction which makes it illegal to sell 802.11b access in Britain. And that liberalisation will happen in time for their June launch date. Who says optimism is dead?

Come back Pittman, all is forgiven!
New York Times story.

“AOL Time Warner (news/quote) said yesterday that Robert W. Pittman, its co-chief operating officer, would resume day-to-day management of the company’s flagship America Online Internet service, 15 months after he gave up that post.

The move underscores the sense of urgency about America Online’s slowing growth. It may also end rumors that Mr. Pittman might leave AOL Time Warner because his co-equal, Richard D. Parsons, is being promoted over him to become the corporation’s chief executive. ”

Automated Blogging — surely not?
BBC News story.

Tuesday, 9 April, 2002, 07:46 GMT 08:46 UK
Computer scribe hits the web
Newsblaster aggregates thousands of news stories
“Online journalists could find their jobs under threat as a virtual reporter has been created that trawls the web for all the best stories.

The Newsblaster is a piece of software designed to edit, summarise and rewrite the huge amount of news currently on offer in cyberspace. ”

What is Google’s business model? Frankly, I don’t care so long as it keeps performing as well as it does. In fact I’d even pay a subscription… Bet they haven’t thought of that.

“ViewletBuilder allows anyone, regardless of technical or creative ability, to build compelling, animated presentations with ease. Get a sneak preview of ViewletBuilder3 and learn about the new version’s enhanced creation capabilities and the new, fast loading vector animated Viewlets.” [more…]
11:50:27 PM    

Very interesting and perceptive piece by Esther Dyson about real-time blogging and its impact on conferences.Quotes:

“No, it won’t make private meetings public. But it will make for more two-way communication at public meetings. Listeners can simultaneously query the speaker and communicate among themselves instead of everyone remaining silent while one person at a time speaks. ” And:

“A conference is always an attempt to orchestrate. Now, it is also something to annotate. ”