Professional jokes

Professional jokes

One of the other guests at a dinner party the other night was a prominent neurosurgeon. I asked him if medics made jokes about one another the way other professions do. “Of course”, he replied, “would you like to hear some?” It turns out that the butts of most medical jokes are the surgeons. Example:

Q: How do you hide money from a general surgeon?
A: Put it in the case notes.

Q:How do you hide money from an orthopaedic surgeon?
A: Put it in a textbook,

Q: How do you hide money from a plastic surgeon?
A: You can’t hide money from a plastic surgeon!

Johansen back in court on DeCSS charge

Johansen back in court on DeCSS charge

According to the Register, the DeCSS kid is not out of the woods yet.:

“Norwegian teenager, Jon Lech Johansen, is to be tried again by an appeal court this summer despite being cleared of cyber piracy crimes earlier this year, his lawyer confirmed last Friday. “DVD Jon” Johansen, 19, was acquitted on criminal charges this January relating to his involvement in creating and distributing a utility for playing back DVDs on his own computer. An Oslo district court decided that Johansen was entitled to copy legally-purchased DVDs using his DeCSS DVD descrambling program, in order to play back movies on his Linux PC. On this basis, Johansen was cleared of piracy and distribution of the DeCSS DVD code-breaking program. Norway’s special division for white-collar crimes, Økokrim, acting at the behest of Hollywood studios, decided to appeal this verdict to the Borgarting appeals court. Økokrim is appealing against the “application of the law and the presentation of evidence” during the original trial, Reuters reports…”

Roger’s gone

Roger’s gone

Roger Needham, founding Director of the Microsoft Cambridge Lab, died last Friday night. He was a wonderful man, for whom the term unimpeachable might have been invented: he always said what he thought, even when he knew it might prove unpalatable to his audience, or to his friends. He was one of the great pioneering computer scientists. When his friends and colleagues gathered to honour him on February 17, it was extraordinary to be reminded of how many of the most important areas of computer science had his fingerprints all over them. Two of the papers he wrote on authentication, for example, are among the most widely-cited papers of the field. And whenever you type in a password, the chances are that it will be encrypted using an algorithm he published in 1966.

I knew him mainly towards the end of his career, when I became a Fellow of the same college. It was always worth trying to sit next to him at formal dinners because his conversation was never conventional. We talked about the history of the subject, the absurdities of Cambridge, his experiences as a consultant in Silicon Valley, opera in San Francisco and the strange fact that in computer ‘science’, the science usually follows the technology. Attending meetings with him was also an unforgettable experience because he could never remain seated when talking; instead he would pace up and down like a caged leopard.

When I embarked on my history of the Net, the fact that he knew every major figure in the story opened innumerable doors for me. I shall always be grateful to him for introducing me to Bob Taylor, the man who conceived and funded the Arpanet, and with whom I wrote a piece on “Zen and the Art of Research Management” in homage to Roger in the collection of papers presented to him on February 17.

I wrote a tribute to him in my Observer column of February 16. I would like to have said much more, but space precluded a longer piece. The thing that struck me most about him in the end was his extraordinary ability to rise above the field and provide an account of the terrain — in plain English. It was always “the view from 90,000 feet”. He had that amazing confidence that great minds have which enables them to admit that problems are very difficult or even insoluble, rather than having to pretend that everything’s under intellectual control.

I feel privileged to have known him, and to have experienced his friendship. His wife, Karen Sparck-Jones (also a distinguished computer scientist) has written a lovely memoir of her man. There’s a nice photograph here. And Rick Rashid, head of Microsoft Research, has published this tribute.

Update: Just found an insightful piece that Karlin Lillington wrote for Salon when the Cambridge Lab was set up. The New York Times obituary is here.

Richard Dawkins: why should we help Bush get re-elected?

Richard Dawkins: why should we help Bush get re-elected?

Good polemic from Dawkins. “I am vigorously pro-American”, he writes, “which is one reason why I am anti-Bush. They deserve better.” He also forsees a time when many liberals will no longer want to live in America (shades of the McCarthy era) and might be tempted to Britain — except that of course Britain will be the only serious country in the Western world which supported the Bush project.

Why email ‘interviews’ are not interviews at all

Why email ‘interviews’ are not interviews at all

Insightful piece by Cory Doctorow, in which he gets right to the heart of the matter. “There’s a much better reason that email interviews don’t work. The ten essay questions are set in stone. No matter how I answer question one, question two will be the same. I’ve conducted a fair number of interviews for magazines and newspapers, and while preparing a list of questions is a good idea, it’s a poor interview indeed that consists solely of the questions you start with. An interview is a conversation — ten questions is a questionnaire.

I appreciate that email interviews are easier on the interviewer — for starters, you don’t have to transcribe a phone or in-person conversation. But email interviews are much harder on the subject, who doesn’t get to collaborate with the interviewer on his answers, and has to struggle to sound interesting all on his own (not to mention, the interviewer doesn’t have to do any transcribing, but the subject has to do a lot of typing). ”

“The system is broken”: Larry Lessig on patents. And a riposte
From the Financial Times.

Lawrence Lessig: Exclusive rights to stagnate

By Lawrence Lessig

Published: February 20 2003 20:47 | Last Updated: February 20 2003 20:40

As pressure mounts on the European Parliament to extend patent protection to software, a crisis is developing in US patent law that Europe would do well to consider. The system in America is broken – to the great detriment of software developers generally – and there is no reason to believe the Europeans could do any better.

The claim that the US patent system is in crisis is nothing new. What is new is the identity of those making it.

From the start, Americans have been sceptical of the government-backed monopoly that is the patent. The first head of the US Patent Office, Thomas Jefferson, was a vocal critic of the very idea. Nonetheless, since the founding of the American republic, Congress has had the power to grant “exclusive rights” to “inventors” for their “discoveries”. And for most of that period the scope of those “exclusive rights” was limited.

But since the middle of the last century, both the Patent Office and the courts, encouraged by Congress, have increasingly expanded the range of “discoveries” subject to patent. Most recently and controversially, the courts surprised most practitioners by concluding that both software and “business methods” can be subject to patent protection.

This last shift took place formally in 1998, although clever patent attorneys had been effectively patenting software for many years before that. Critics had been arguing for some time that this extension of patent protection would do more harm than good. As Bill Gates, Microsoft chairman, wrote in a 1991 memo: “If people had understood how patents would be granted when most of today’s ideas were invented and had taken out patents, the industry would be at a complete standstill today.”

Yet throughout the administration of President Clinton the Patent Office insisted that the system worked just fine. Patents were being granted for truly novel inventions only, the office said; and innovators had no trouble in identifying who owned what invention. Claims that the system was in crisis were little more than the ravings of Chicken Little. The system would work itself out. It always had.

Yet now the Patent Office is singing a different tune. As its new head, former Republican Congressman James E. Rogan, said in an interview with the L.A. Times on February 7, 2003: “This is an agency in crisis and it’s going to get worse. It doesn’t do me any good to pretend there’s not a problem when there is.”

The reason is the mess created by the last administration’s patent office, especially in the context of business method patents (the type of patent, for example, that gives Amazon an exclusive right to its “one-click” method for selling merchandise online). “Some of [these] were fairly broad,” Mr Rogan told L.A. Times reporter David Streitfeld. “We’ve gone from a 75 per cent acceptance rate to a 75 per cent rejection rate.”

This early and easy acceptance rate led to an explosion in patent applications and patents granted – and, in turn, in the costs that software developers face. “Developing software is [now] like crossing a minefield,” says Richard Stallman, the originator of the free software movement that has developed the GNU/Linux operating system. “With each design decision, you might step on a patent that will blow up your project.”

This is the most surprising fact about software patents: they are generally opposed most strongly by the people they are intended to benefit. But such opposition is not difficult for a conservative like Mr Rogan to understand. Patents are a form of regulation. They represent a government decision on who gets a monopoly over what invention. Republicans like to claim that Democrats regulate first and ask questions later. They are therefore more eager to ask the right questions up-front.

Yet the questions here have no good answers. Like any form of government regulation, patents make sense only if their benefits outweigh their costs. The public benefit from patents is presumably the inventions that otherwise would not have been made. The costs include the extraordinary burden of knowing just what innovation is and is not subject to a government monopoly. These costs are borne both by innovators seeking a patent and by those just writing code. Both must wade through incomprehensible claims about who owns what inventions to avoid the inevitable hold-up if their code proves successful.

Software developers are quite aware of these costs. Yet economists have found it very hard to reckon any net benefits. And thus conservatives are increasingly sceptical of this form of regulation. No doubt it has produced “a whole cottage industry of shysters,” as Mr Rogan admits. It is harder to show that patents have produced any gain that would justify their costs.

The issue is not just a problem of implementation. The weakness runs much deeper. It may well be that software development requires some form of government protection. It does not follow, however, that patents are the protection that software needs. Software already receives the protection of copyright and trade secret. (The “code” of software is a kind of writing that copyright protects; and the properly hidden secrets that stand behind software can be protected like any other business secret.)

These too have their critics: the term of software copyright is effectively perpetual; and trade secrets tend to hide, not spread, knowledge. But if these forms of protection are inadequate or misinformed, then the solution is to find a form that better fits software. No one really believes that patents are well designed for this type of invention. Yet no government has adequately explored the alternatives.

American software developers will continue to choke on software patents, especially as more and more get enforced in massively expensive litigation. These patents will in turn inhibit the work of independent developers and protect large developers over small. As Mr Gates rightly concluded in his 1991 memo, “established companies have an interest in excluding competitors.”Patents give them just one more tool.

Until software patents prove themselves safe and effective, Europe could gain a great deal by sparing its developers the same drug. Rather than copying a failed American policy, the Europeans could be exploring alternatives to patents that might provide protection without sinking the intended beneficiaries. No doctor would approve an untested drug for his or her patient. Nor should Europe inflict such a remedy on its already weakened software industry.

The writer is a professor of law at Stanford Law School and author of The Future of Ideas: The Fate of the Commons in a Connected World

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Richard Epstein – Patents underpin innovation

I think that it is important to part company with Lawrence Lessig?s latest FT.com column, which pronounces the US patent system for software broken. This is a harsh indictment of a system that to my knowledge shows no fundamental signs of breakdown. As I have often stressed in this column, I claim no technical expertise in the software that operates under the hood of my computer. But for these purposes ignorance is a kind of bliss, for it is quite evident as I sit working away on my OS X by Apple that it represents a major advance in convenience, versatility and power that could not have taken place if strong intellectual property rights had Balkanised the intellectual universe. One looks for fundamental flaws in underlying institutions only when the progress starts to grind to a halt. When the market seems to be vibrant, then what is needed is an explanation as to why it works.

Here is one candidate. New patents offer both obstacles and opportunities. As a matter of law, the patent gives one the exclusive right to make and market the patented invention for a limited period after it falls into the public domain. But the exclusive economic right that it provides does not necessarily provide an economic monopoly for its holder. Nor does it necessarily present an obstacle to individuals who wish to take their own new product to market. Granted, the first new entrant in some niche may well be able to exact some monopoly rent from the innovation. Yet by the same token, the person who purchases that innovation at the monopoly price is better off than he would have been if the technology had not been invented in the first place. Better to face a monopoly today than to have to wait six months or a year in order to get free access to a new product.

This monopoly scenario, moreover, overstates the dangers that patents hold to innovation. Quite simply, someone else could invent a second device that offers the functional equivalent to the first, so that the former customer of the monopolist now faces a duopoly, in which both firms charge lower prices than before. ?Inventing around? has both costs and benefits, but the difficulty of getting the right balance on the question is, I think, reason enough to preclude any harsh judgment that the current system is broken.

Here is one recent piece of evidence that just came to my attention. Recently, John Walsh, Ashish Arora and Wesley Cohen wrote a short article in Science Magazine (vol. 299, 1021, Feb. 14, 2003), which asked the analogous question of whether the much heralded patent thicket had placed obstacles in the path of biomedical science.  The answer: not really. Extensive interviews with professionals in the field revealed that the landscape had indeed become more complex but that people could work through it. The authors reported that “almost none of our respondents reported worthwhile projects being stopped because of issues of access to IP rights to research tools,” such as various kinds of probes or reagents which may have no close substitutes. A similar form of ingenuity exists in the software business. “Inventing around”, patent pools and individual licences may not be perfect, but they in combination they undercut the force of the ostensible blockade.

Prof Lessig writes as though the rise of business method patents under the famous 1998 State Street decision marks a death knell for innovation. But in reality it does nothing of the sort. The case itself only decided that business methods were patent eligible, ie that they constituted a manufacture, process, machine or composition of matter. It did not decide whether that particular algorithm met the individualised tests of non-obviousness, novelty and utility. In this regard, it is little different from the decisions on medical devices, all of which recognise that something more than an unprotected algorithm is at stake when the machine in question uses external data as the basis for measurement and diagnosis of bodily conditions. The real action here should not be with respect to patent eligibility but with these second-tier questions that go to the validity or scope of individual patents. The same logic applies to software.

Prof Lessig?s column illustrates the big philosophical gap between us. I supported and applauded his unsuccessful efforts to upend the 1998 Copyright Term Extension Act because that statute represented an unconscionable giveaway of public domain assets to private firms, without any compensation in return. But there is no giveaway at stake in the ordinary cases of patent and copyrights under the current law. The commons works after the expiration of the patent or copyright because something of value has already been created under the incentives of the patent system. But if we treat all inventions as though they belong in some commons at creation, then in the not-to-distant future there were will be few patents or copyrights left to fall into the public domain. The current system has it about right. Tinker maybe, overhaul no.

How to infer a bank PIN number in 15 guesses

How to infer a bank PIN number in 15 guesses
Register story. “Cambridge researchers have documented a worrying PIN cracking technique against the hardware security modules commonly used by bank ATMs. Mike Bond and Piotr Zielinski have published a paper detailing how a complex mathematical attack can yield a PIN in an average of 15 guesses. By design, it shouldn’t be possible to guess a four-digit pin in less than an average of 5,000 attempts. …”