Kissing the badger

Wonderful column by Harry Pearson. Sample:

The radio filtered alarming news to my vantage point high above. From what I could make out from an incoherently angry caller to 6-0-6, it seemed that the Manchester United right-back Gary Neville had taunted visiting Liverpool fans at the final whistle by standing in front of them and kissing – and here was the shocking bit – his badger.

That, at least, was what it sounded like. Many would instantly have dismissed the idea as implausible. Those who have been around football as long as I have, however, know better. If we were to eliminate things in football just because they were implausible we’d have to chop out huge chunks of the game’s history – Graham Taylor’s spell as England manager, for example, or Jorge Campos’s shirts, or Rio Ferdinand.

In football you learn to trust Sherlock Holmes’s maxim: “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” Steve McClaren is favourite to become the next England manager. I rest my case.