What we’re missing
Once upon a time we used to have these at this time of the year. Not this year, though. Climate change is no respecter of ancient pleasures. Bah!
Quote of the Day
“We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!”
- Spike Milligan
Musical alternative to the morning’s radio news
Van Morrison & the Chieftains | Raglan Road
A beautiful musical setting of Patrick Kavanagh’s poem.
Long Read of the Day
Jeffrey Epstein has exposed the rotten state of the UK’s constitution
Lovely blast by Alan Rushbridger on the tattered quilt that passes for a constitution hereabouts.
It didn’t take much. In one corner, a charismatic, manipulative paedophile. In the other corner, two ancient and barnacled pillars of the British state. The House of Lords and the monarchy are still standing, but both have taken quite the battering over the past week.
From beyond the grave, Jeffrey Epstein has unwittingly shone an unforgiving light on the make-believe structures that sit at the pinnacle of our constitutional arrangements. A dud prince and an iffy peer were both charmed and corrupted by their contact with the serpentine Epstein.
And now we don’t know what to do about them.
Andrew is the greater embarrassment because he mocks the hereditary principle by which monarchs have been chosen since…. was it King Aethelstan, in 927? Andrew may be plain old Mr Mountbatten-Windsor now, but he is still technically the Duke of York and eighth in line to the throne.
A House of Commons Library briefing note on how Mr M-W should be addressed reads like something out of Gilbert and Sullivan. Andrew is (still) the Duke of York by royal prerogative—that is, under powers held by the monarch using Letters Patent or a Royal Warrant. He could, but chooses not to, call himself Duke, a title which will be kept warm for some future spare royal. But he’s not allowed to call himself HRH, or “Prince”. Same goes for Harry.
But it’s trickier to extract Andrew from the line of succession because of some legal mumbo jumbo from 1931, which would require the consent of every other Commonwealth Realm. Who knows how Tuvalu (pop 10,643) would vote? In Shakespeare, dodgy noblemen are banished to foreign realms. Today, we pack them off to Norfolk.
The King’s brother is, we can all agree, a wrong ‘un. We are supposed to defer to one bro and despise the other. William seems nice enough, but the odds of getting a “good” monarch are much the same as tossing a coin. And yet the hereditary system is all we have…
Read on. It’s enjoyable. And sharp.
My commonplace booklet
Cobblers
The Financial Times is a great newspaper, but it has its moments. These generally come in its weekend edition’s glossy supplement, HTSI. the initials stand for its original title, which was “How to Spend It” — an unashamed guide to fashion and consumption for the super-rich. But it seems that the paper eventually became embarrassed by the flaunting arrogance of the title and abbreviated it to an acronym, hoping that nobody would notice.
Often it’s comical to read. Last Saturday’s edition, for example, had a guide to the best bespoke cobblers for men’s shoes.
They include John Lobb in Jermyn Street in London, where a pair of shoes costs from £6,960. I think King Charles has always got his shoes there.
Then there’s Canons, now based in Islington, where a pair costs from £5,700. They are, says the FT, “form-fitting, but still give the foot room to breathe.” Phew!
Also in London are Gaziano and Girling, whose “house style is distinctive, boasting a striking angularity, with slim, sharply contrasted waists and beveled edges.” A snip at £7,260.
If you’re thinking that the revolution is overdue, join the club.
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