John Kelly has been studying the search engine queries that bring people to his (excellent) blog…

The majority of keyword searches involve some variation on “John Kelly blog”, but they’re not the ones that remind us how the fetishes, pathologies and strange obsessions of humankind are catalogued every day on the world wide web.

For example, after writing about my family’s trip to Prague – a trip that I feel moved to point out was 100% prostitute-free – someone from the United Arab Emirates found my blog by Googling “hooker sex apartments near wenceslas square”. I just love that construction: “hooker sex apartments”. It sounds like something an estate agent would put on a brochure: “The property is located in a desirable area, close to schools, shopping and hooker sex apartments.”

If you blog about the British tabloid press, as I sometimes do, you will have occasion to use the words “penis” and “breast”. And that will guarantee more than a few searches along the lines of “penis grab off” (some kind of martial arts move, evidently) and “how to grab a woman’s breast without getting in trouble”…