“Crystallise your BlackBerry!” was the header in an email this morning. It’s gone into the bin of contenders for the most idiotic product idea of the year.
Category Archives: Beyond belief
Osborne’s arithmetic
Damn! The country needs a new government and it turns out that the only possible contenders under our daft electoral system are this crowd of old-Etonian amateurs.
The National Institute of Economic and Social Research (NIESR) said the shadow chancellor's proposed saving, outlined at the Conservative party conference this week, would take five years longer than estimated and fall £3bn short.
NIESR said Osborne’s team had made a mistake in their calculations, misreading a paper written by the thinktank earlier this year. Osborne's aides originally based their calculations on a NIESR document in the House of Commons library. After his speech the thinktank sought clarification of his assumptions. It has recalculated the figures and will present them at a conference on Monday.
Mind you, we’ve known this for a while. A year ago they misread the banking crisis almost as comprehensively as John McCain.
The Doomsday machine
I didn’t know about this. Did you?
The Soviets were especially worried about the decision that an ailing leader like Leonid Brezhnev would have to make if faced with a warning of nuclear attack. He would have only minutes to decide, and the alert information might not be clear or certain. What if he hesitated? What if he made a mistake and issued a launch order based on a faulty warning?
The Soviet designers responded with an ingenious and incredible answer. They actually built a doomsday machine that would guarantee retaliation — launching all the nuclear missiles — if the leader's hand went limp. Now some details of the system have come to light in documents and interviews with officials who were involved. I have detailed the history and rationale of this doomsday machine in my new book. The system was in effect a switch that would allow the Soviet leader to delegate the decision about retaliation to someone else. An ailing general secretary could activate the system if he received a warning of attack, and thus might avoid the mistake of launching all the nuclear missiles based on a false alarm. Should the enemy missiles actually arrive and destroy the Kremlin, there would be guaranteed retaliation.
Originally, the Soviet Union devised a totally automated, computer-driven retaliatory system known as the Dead Hand. If all the leaders and all the regular command systems were destroyed, computers would memorize the early-warning and nuclear attack data, wait out the onslaught, and then order retaliation without human control. This system would, basically, turn over the fate of mankind to machines.
However, this idea was too frightening for the Soviet designers and leaders, and they did not build it. Instead, they constructed a modified system, quite elaborate, known as Perimeter. Instead of machines, Perimeter had a human firewall to make the fateful decision — a small group of duty officers buried deep underground in a concrete globe-shaped bunker. If certain conditions were met, including seismic data showing that a nuclear explosion had already detonated on Soviet soil, and if the Kremlin communications were down, these duty officers could launch a series of small command rockets in superhardened silos. Like robots, the command rockets would then fly across the country and issue the launch order to the intercontinental ballistic missiles. The Perimeter system was tested in November 1984 and put on combat duty in early 1985. But the Soviet Union kept this system a secret, and many features of it were not known to the United States until after the Cold War…
[Source]
Update your FaceBook profile. Then go to gaol
This is almost too good to be true.
According to The Journal in Martinsburg, W. Va., a local resident came home to find that a burglar had broken in through a bedroom window and rummaged around, making off with a pair of diamond rings worth more than $3,500. Apparently wanting to travel light, he did not take the victim’s computer, but he did use it. To check his Facebook page. And he forgot to log off. Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday on one count of felony daytime burglary and remains in custody in lieu of $10,000 bail, probably wondering what kind of grief his Facebook friends are posting on his wall.
A strange madness
Watching the loopy hysteria of the American Right about health care, I’ve been wondering sometimes if I’m hallucinating. Surely an intelligent and progressive country like the US can’t be entirely populated by fanatics? But Paul Krugman is seeing the same thing — as this blog post entitled A strange madness suggests.
Joe Klein reports on a town hall meeting where people think that Obama has larded the government with communists. Bizarre — but I’ve been getting equally bizarre claims in much of my mail. And what’s striking is the intensity.
I’ve mentioned before that my hate mail has reached levels I haven’t seen since 2004 or so. But back then, the hate was in a way understandable. People like me were questioning Bush’s bona fides as the great protector against terrorism, were claiming that he deliberately misled the country into an unnecessary war. Those were strong charges, and in a way you could understand that people who idolized Bush (believe it or not, there used to be a lot of them) were upset.
But now I get spitting, incoherent rage over articles on, um, health care economics or macro modeling. What enrages people so much about these pieces? Usually, it’s impossible to tell — in fact, I often have the sense that the enraged correspondents haven’t read the things at all. But that’s OK — they know that I’m corrupt, a liar, a Nazi, and have been spewing my evil in my writings.
The point is that whatever is driving all this doesn’t have anything to do with the realities of what I, or, much more important of course, Obama say or do. Obama could have come in proposing to pursue an agenda identical to Bush, and he would still be a socialist/Commie/fascist, with those of us who don’t see it that way lying Nazis ourselves.
Something is going very wrong in the heads of a substantial number of Americans.
What is happening to us?
Wonderful, impassioned Boing Boing post by Cory. I’m reproducing it in full.
The Philadelphia Free Library system is broke, and they’re shutting it down, including cancelling “all branch and regional library programs, programs for children and teens, after school programs, computer classes, and programs for adults”; and “all children programs, programs to support small businesses and job seekers, computer classes and after school programs”; and “all library visits to schools, day care centers, senior centers and other community centers”; and “all community meetings”; and “all GED, ABE and ESL program.”
Just look at that list of all the things libraries do for our communities, all the ways they help the least among us, the vulnerable, the children, the elderly. Think of every wonderful thing that happened to you among the shelves of a library. Think of the millions of lifelong love-affairs with literacy sparked in the collections of those libraries. Think of every person whose life was forever changed for the better in those buildings.
Think of the nobility of libraries and librarianship, the great scar that the Burning of Alexandria gouged in human history. Think of the archivists who barricaded themselves in the Hermitage during the Siege of Leningrad, slowly starving and freezing to death but refusing to desert their posts for fear that the collections they guarded would become firewood.
Think of the librarians who took a stand during the darkest years of the PATRIOT Act and refused to turn over patron records. Think of the moral unimpeachability of those whose trade is universal access to all human knowledge.
Picture an entire city, a modern, wealthy place, in the richest country in the world, in which the vital services provided by libraries are withdrawn due to political brinksmanship and an unwillingness to spare one banker’s bonus worth of tax-dollars to sustain an entire region’s connection with human culture and knowledge and community.
Think of it and ask yourself what the hell has happened to us.
Amen.
The dismal (and dangerous) science
One of the most enjoyable pieces of academic work I’ve ever done was in the late 1970s when my philosopher friend Gerard de Vries of the University of Amsterdam and I did a study of the epistemological status of econometric models. (It was later published in the Dutch philosophy journal Kennis en Methode.) As an engineer I’d been intrigued by the way economists became increasingly obsessed with statistical models, and puzzled by the way in which the discipline gradually morphed into a branch of applied mathematics. This seemed to me to be yet another example of the pernicious attractiveness to social scientists of TS Kuhn’s notion of a ‘paradigm’: they convinced themselves that the way to make their subjects academically respectable was to give them an empirical core — just like physics. What none of us really appreciated was that this pathetic addiction to abstract models might have some sinister consequences.
What brought this to mind was an intriguing set of exchanges involving — of all people — Her Majesty the Queen. In November she visited the London School of Economics and, en passant asked some of the academics there why “nobody [had] noticed [before September 2008] that the credit crunch was on its way?” Which, when you come to think of it, was a bloody good question. On June 27 the British Academy, which is to the humanities what the Royal Society is to scientists, held a symposium on the subject, after which two of the eminent LSE professors who had attended wrote to the Queen, summarising the conclusions of the symposium. (Text of their letter is available here.) “Everyone seemed to be doing their own job properly on its own merit”, they wrote. “And according to standard measures of success, they were doing it well. The failure was to see how collectively this added up to a series of interconnected imbalances over which no single authority had jurisdiction. This, combined with the psychology of herding and the mantra of financial and policy gurus, lead to a dangerous recipe. Individual risks may rightly have been viewed as small, but the risk to the system as a whole was vast”.
If you’re of a suspicious turn of mind (and I am), this smacks of establishment cant. What it’s basically saying is that everyone’s to blame, which is another way of saying that nobody’s to blame, Ma’am. But in a way one could have predicted the contents of the letter by simply inspecting the list of invitees to the British Academy think-in: it’s a roll-call of establishment worthies — a Cabinet secretary here, a former Deputy-Governor of the Bank of England there, some prominent academics, a brace of retired Chief economic Advisers to the Treasury, etc.
The letter clearly irritated some economists, chief among them my friend Geoff Harcourt, one of the greatest living experts on Keynes and a life-long believer in the proposition that there’s a lot more to economics than applied mathematics. So he and his buddies set to and composed another letter to Her Majesty (text here) which seems a lot more sensible to me, mainly because it attributes some of the blame to the way in which the teaching of economics over the last two decades has been perverted by an obsession with mathematical theory and a lack of interest in what actually goes on in the real world. (Like, for example, the emergence of an unregulated ‘shadow banking’ system which came to overwhelm the normal, regulated, system.)
Geoff and his co-signatories point out that the British Academy letter
“does not consider how the preference for mathematical technique over real-world substance diverted many economists from looking at the vital whole. It fails to reflect upon the drive to specialise in narrow areas of inquiry, to the detriment of any synthetic vision. For example, it does not consider the typical omission of psychology, philosophy or economic history from the current education of economists in prestigious institutions. It mentions neither the highly questionable belief in universal ‘rationality’ nor the ‘efficient markets hypothesis’ — both widely promoted by mainstream economists. It also fails to consider how economists have also been ‘charmed by the market’ and how simplistic and reckless market solutions have been widely and vigorously promoted by many economists.
What has been scarce is a professional wisdom informed by a rich knowledge of psychology, institutional structures and historic precedents. This insufficiency has been apparent among those economists giving advice to governments, banks, businesses and policy institutes. Non-quantified warnings about the potential instability of the global financial system should have been given much more attention.
We believe that the narrow training of economists — which concentrates on mathematical techniques and the building of empirically uncontrolled formal models — has been a major reason for this failure in our profession. This defect is enhanced by the pursuit of mathematical techique for its own sake in many leading academic journals and departments of economics.”
Now enters, stage right, the formidable Richard Posner, who finds fault with both letters and calls for “a more focused criticism”. The Queen, he points out, was asking about the failure to foresee the financial collapse of last September, rather than about the health of modern economics in the large. “That failure”, he writes
“was I think due in significant part to a concept of rationality that exaggerates the amount of information that people have about the future, even experts, and to a disregard of economic factors that don’t lend themselves to expression in mathematical models, or are intractable to formal analysis. The efficient markets theory, when understood not as teaching merely that markets are hard to beat even for experts and therefore passive management of a diversified portfolio of assets is likely to outperform a strategy of picking underpriced stocks or other securities to buy and overpriced ones to sell, but as demonstrating that asset prices are always an adequate gauge of value — that there are not asset “bubbles” — blinded most economists to the housing bubble of the early 2000s and the stock market bubble that expanded with it. In modeling the business cycle, economists not only ignored, because difficult to accommodate in their mathematical models, vital institutional detail (such as the rise of the ‘shadow banking industry,’ which is what mainly collapsed last September) — often indeed ignoring money itself, on the ground that it doesn’t really affect the ‘real’ (that is, the nonfinancial) economy. They also ignored key concepts in Keynes’s analysis of the business cycle, such as hoarding and uncertainty and business confidence (‘animal spirits’) and worker resistance to nominal (as distinct from real) wage reductions in depressions. Lessons of economic history were ignored, too, leading to a belief that there would never be another depression, let alone a collapse of the banking industry. Even when the collapse occurred, in September, many macroeconomists denied that it would lead to anything worse than a mild recession; the measures that the government has taken to recover from what has turned into a depression owe little to post-Keynesian economic thinking; and the economists cannot agree on what further, if anything, should be done, and which of the government’s recovery measures has worked or will work.”
The truth of the matter is that large chunks of the analytical apparatus of modern economics has been shown to be a house of theoretical cards. But given the profession’s huge investment in said cardboard structures, it’s probably incapable of admitting its colossal mistake. Time for a Kuhnian revolution?
How to lose your job on FaceBook
Thanks to Jack Schofield for the link.
Apocalypse Then
Astonishing story, if true.
President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq must be invaded to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible’s satanic agents of the Apocalypse.
Honest. This isn’t a joke. The president of the United States, in a top-secret phone call to a major European ally, asked for French troops to join American soldiers in attacking Iraq as a mission from God.
Now out of office, Chirac recounts that the American leader appealed to their “common faith” (Christianity) and told him: “Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East…. The biblical prophecies are being fulfilled…. This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins.”
This bizarre episode occurred while the White House was assembling its “coalition of the willing” to unleash the Iraq invasion. Chirac says he was boggled by Bush’s call and “wondered how someone could be so superficial and fanatical in their beliefs.”
After the 2003 call, the puzzled French leader didn’t comply with Bush’s request. Instead, his staff asked Thomas Romer, a theologian at the University of Lausanne, to analyze the weird appeal. Dr. Romer explained that the Old Testament book of Ezekiel contains two chapters (38 and 39) in which God rages against Gog and Magog, sinister and mysterious forces menacing Israel. Jehovah vows to smite them savagely, to “turn thee back, and put hooks into thy jaws,” and slaughter them ruthlessly. In the New Testament, the mystical book of Revelation envisions Gog and Magog gathering nations for battle, “and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them.”
In 2007, Dr. Romer recounted Bush’s strange behavior in Lausanne University’s review, Allez Savoir. A French-language Swiss newspaper, Le Matin Dimanche, printed a sarcastic account titled: “When President George W. Bush Saw the Prophesies of the Bible Coming to Pass.” France’s La Liberte likewise spoofed it under the headline “A Small Scoop on Bush, Chirac, God, Gog and Magog.” But other news media missed the amazing report.
Hmmm… Maybe he was pulling Chirac’s leg?
En passant At a dinner party a couple of years ago, a retired (very) senior British civil servant (who had served in Downing Street during the Blair years), told me about Chirac’s visit to Number Ten before the decision to go to war in Iraq. On his way out Chirac said to Blair something along the lines of: “Tony, you’ve never seen warfare or military action. I have; and it’s not something you ever embark upon except as a last resort”. After the President’s entourage had departed, Blair turned to my fellow-diner and said: “Poor old Jacques. He just doesn’t get it, does he?”
MI6 boss adjusts his FaceBook profile
Now this really is something you couldn’t make up.
Details about the personal life of the next head of MI6, Sir John Sawers, have been removed from Facebook.
The Mail on Sunday says his wife, Lady Shelley Sawers, put details about their children and the location of their flat on the social networking site.
The details, which also included holiday photographs, were removed after the paper contacted the Foreign Office…
FaceBook doesn’t reveal, though, how he likes his Martinis.