Beach sandals now available with hollow sole, liquor for the storage and transportation of. A snip at $44-$46 from Amazon.com. Form an orderly queue. Hic. No shushing or poving. Er, pushing and shoving. Hic.

I am reminded of Myles na gCopaleen’s design for trousers with hollow pipes running down the seams which could be filled with Guinness by publicans just prior to closing time, thereby enabling customers to continue drinking on the bus journey home.

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