Just in time for the panto season comes this apparently-official report of the ‘trial’ of the North Korean Boy Emperor’s dastardly uncle.

It is an elementary obligation of a human being to repay trust with sense of obligation and benevolence with loyalty. However, despicable human scum Jang, who was worse than a dog, perpetrated thrice-cursed acts of treachery in betrayal of such profound trust and warmest paternal love shown by the party and the leader for him.

No shilly-shallying with extended trials, juries, evidence, cross-examination and all the other tedious appurtenances of Western ‘justice’. These folks don’t hang about. The whole thing took about four hours, after which Uncle Dang was shot like the, er, dog that he was supposed to be.