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No, you couldn’t make this up. Good Morning Silicon Valley reports

Good thing the FBI teaches agents Morse code because chances are they may need it. According to Mark Mershon, the assistant director in charge of the agency’s New York City office, budget constraints have deprived some FBI agents of e-mail accounts.

“As ridiculous as this might sound, we have real money issues right now, and the government is reluctant to give all agents and analysts dot-gov accounts,” Mershon told the New York Daily News yesterday. “We just don’t have the money, and that is an endless stream of complaints that come from the field.”