BRITISH CONSULATE
Basra: Iraq

Opening Times

SUICIDE BOMBINGS
9.30am – 3.30pm
Monday to Friday

Those wishing to bomb the
Consulate outside those hours
must apply in writing at least
two weeks before they hope
to embark on their journey to
paradise.

MORTAR ATTACKS
11.00am – 2.00pm
Monday/Wednesday/Friday

No incoming mortar attacks
will be accepted outside these
times.

From this week’s Private Eye.