Alt Predictions for 2007

I like these Alt Predictions for 2007, especially this:

President Bush finally manages to raise his approval ratings by recording a video of himself lip-syncing to “Barbie Girl” in makeup and a halter top with two oranges stuffed into the bust, and releasing the video onto the web. While his handling of the war in Iraq remains unpopular, his video is given four and a half stars and praised as “wicked funny,” “so dam hilarious” and “LOLOLOLOLOL.”

And this:

The consumer launch of Windows Vista does not go as well as planned. A cult forms within Microsoft, meeting secretly in the catacombs beneath the Redmond campus. The cult is devoted to a mysterious text message that declares Bill Gates the Once and Future CEO and prophesies that Gates will return in Microsoft’s time of greatest need, delivering stock options to the faithful, smiting the apostate, and possibly even coming up with a decent MP3 player.