Apple’s latest wheeze: iTunes To Sell You Your Home Videos For $1.99 Each. Nice satirical piece in The Onion.

CUPERTINO, CA—Apple Computer, producer of the successful iPod MP3 player, is now offering consumers limited rights to buy their own home movies from the media store iTunes for $1.99 each.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the future of home-video viewing is now,” Apple CEO Steve Jobs said at a media event Tuesday morning. “As soon as you record that precious footage of your daughter’s first steps, you’ll be able to buy it right back from iTunes and download it directly to your computer and video iPod.”

Jobs emphasized that the videos will be presented unedited and in their original form, save for a small Apple logo in the lower right-hand corner of the image to protect the company’s copyrighted materials from Internet piracy.

Added Jobs: “No more searching through your movies folder for that footage of your 50th wedding anniversary. Now all you need is a 768Kbps broadband connection and your credit card, and every timeless personal memory you’ve ever shot will be right at your fingertips.”

“Apple has always been about access,” said MacAddict editor Ian Smythe. “Thanks to this revolutionary new software, all your clips—from your son’s bris to your father’s dying message—are available to you, your loved ones, and the 20 million iTunes users, who will be able to view them on up to five different computers.”

Thanks to Pete for the link.