This morning’s Observer column…

From further along the arcade could be heard shouting, whistling and general sounds of excited hubbub. Further examination revealed a 100-yard queue of people. Every so often, a steward would motion the 10 people at the head of the queue to enter a store. As they did so, the staff applauded them. Many of the customers took photographs of themselves as they entered. Inside they were greeted by more applauding staff and given a white box containing a complimentary T-shirt, after which they proceeded into the seething centre of the emporium. As they left, a smiling staff member thanked them. And from the expressions on the departing faces, it was clear that they had had what in marketing cant is called ‘a great retail experience’. This was the only shop in the entire arcade that had generated any excitement…