All hat, no cattle

My friend and colleague Henry Happel has given me a present of this wonderful hat. It’s a Stetson, and came with a really useful phoenetic guide (by Sam Huddleston) to Texan pronounciation. For example:

Bob Warr Fants = barbed wire fence
Rat Naow = immediately
Amulants = a thang thet takes yew to the hospital when yore lag is broke
Far Angine = somethin yew call when yore house is burnin’ down
Merkan Cissen = someone born in the US of A

I’m already very fond of this hat. In fact, I think I might buy me a ranch to go with it. In the meantime, it reminds me of what Governor John Connally (a native Texan) once observed about the Bush family (who are only ersatz Texans): “All hat, no cattle”. At last, I find something that Dubya and I have in common!