It’s pass the sickbag time again, folks. The diminutive Scottish petrolhead with the whiny voice has been sharing the secrets of his success with the unfortunate readers of the Torygraph.

The great challenge, he explains, “is to win with integrity and care.”

“Integrity and care?” some will jeer. [Ed: shurely not]. “They don’t count. Look at the scoreboard. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, and the reality is, in sport, business and everything else, that nice guys come last. Winning is not everything, it’s the only thing,” and so on. I disagree.

As a sportsman I was hideously spoiled. It’s easy for pampered heroes to believe the world owes them a living – until the adulation ends soon after they retire.

The key to success after sport lies in stopping being a taker and learning to be a giver. In my case, the realisation that I could add significant value to companies providing products or services to motorsport dawned long before I retired from racing in 1973. So, when the time came, I was able to move seamlessly from the cockpit into a series of long-term associations with companies including Ford, Goodyear, Rolex and Moët & Chandon. My aim was always to provide more value than they perceive they were paying for…

Aw, isn’t that sweet! Imagine someone generous enough to give to penniless outfits like Rolex and Moet & Chandon. Altruism is so ennobling, don’t you think.

Who reads this ‘inspirational’ crap, I wonder? (Apart from me, that is.)