Sometimes, satire is the only way to deal with oppression. Ed Felten’s been working overtime after the AACS claimed that it ‘owned’ a decryption key.

Remember last week’s kerfuffle over whether the movie industry could own random 128-bit numbers?

Now, thanks to our newly developed VirtualLandGrab technology, you can own a 128-bit integer of your very own.

Here’s how we do it. First, we generate a fresh pseudorandom integer, just for you. Then we use your integer to encrypt a copyrighted haiku, thereby transforming your integer into a circumvention device capable of decrypting the haiku without your permission. We then give you all of our rights to decrypt the haiku using your integer. The DMCA does the rest.

Here’s mine:

5A 3F 7B A3 1C 75 88 F6 18 53 C6 09 75 83 CC 71

I will be Very Cross if you use it!

Thanks to Bill Thompson for the hint.

(Bill’s number is 7E 3D 4C 5A 75 37 5D 28 82 1B 95 D5 D3 AF CB 3B and he’s equally possessive of it btw.)