Useful phrases when governing Iraq

From a lovely New Yorker ‘Shouts and Murmurs’ piece.

“The next train to Basra will depart in 2009”.

“I can’t hear you over all that ‘Death to America!’ chanting.”

“There is no soap in my hotel bedroom. Also, no walls or ceiling.”

And my favourite:

“Could you please direct me to the weapons of mass destruction?”