Hah! You think I jest? Well, look ye here at this quote from US Patent #7,689,524, granted this morning.

An intelligent personalized agent (e.g., guardian angel) monitors and evaluates a user’s environment to assist in decision-making processes on behalf of the user. Such implementation may be presented in the form of a software assisted mind amplifier. The amplifier analyzes preferences and predicts future actions based on the analysis. For example, if a user is at a shopping mall, the guardian angel can evaluate the surrounding environment with respect to the user’s own attributes and preferences and determine or infer that the time of day is noon, the user has not eaten lunch, and there are no pending appointments at the moment. The guardian angel with knowledge of the user’s favorite foods, last time frames for consumption of such favorite food, and available restaurants in proximity to the user can provide directions to the nearest positively rated restaurant that serves such favorite food as well as (in the background) check for seating availability, and make a reservation (if needed). Thus, the guardian angel can, based on environment, user state, preferences, and available resources, take automated action on behalf of the user for various purposes (e.g., to compensate for memory loss, to remind a user to take medicine, to assist in social interactions by indicating whether the user has met an individual before, to gauge the appropriateness of jokes or comments given the demographics of the audience, etc.). Ray Ozzie and Billg are the lead patentees. The patent is, needless to say, assigned to Microsoft. Don’t you just love that idea of a “mind amplifier”? It could remind you to take your vitamins, locate the best online casino payout during a layover, and settle bar arguments about who pitched Game 6. Boy, could I use one of them.